I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
