Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
