Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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