I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
