Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
