he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Randomize
