I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
