There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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