i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
