ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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