...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
