he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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