the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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