I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
