I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
