your thong is hanging out like whoa
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
