The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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