AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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