you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
