I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
it's like iHOP with fire
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
