Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
