Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I am available for nakedness
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
