Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
