Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
