Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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