Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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