A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
