i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
