The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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