Where is the hickey?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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