yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
