idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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