I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
