the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize