i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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