You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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