I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
we're so committed to being not committed
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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