i need an iv and a liver transplant
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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