Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You ruined the universe
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
