She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
