Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
