he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
