if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
