Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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