u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
