yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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