I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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