apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
