I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
