This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
