so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
