If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
